there's so so much to write about the trip. so this is part 1: Chicago.
coming back here induces a welcome surge of melancholic nostalgia. for the first time i feel as though i have grown up here - nothing has changed so everything is familiar.[...] driving to Skokie i was marvelling at the sprawling slowness of time. endless crappy strip malls take up the space of 100 flats in London.
the days here go fast but also feel endless. we've been here a week and have seen family & friends, explored Chicago a little and watched shitloads of movies - favourites have to be Dear White People, The Brady Bunch and Almost Famous. Almost Famous made me realise that being cool or distinguishing yourself from others is neither very important nor very attainable. 'coolness' is so subjective anyway. maybe being able to look like everyone else isn't a bad thing - it's like an invisibility power.
it seems there is no shortage of space or time here. now i remember the constant low hum of the bugs in the trees, the sad brown buildings of Skokie. we saw fireflies as we were arriving, emitting a greenish glow before disappearing into the dusk.
it feels as though time has frozen here, and we are just taking a break from our London lives to continue where we left off.
i'll be back in about 3 weeks. then the wait begins again for next summer - the anticipation is often better than being here. but it's been fun. we made a fire and roasted marshmallows for s'mores which was not disappointing and was an ~American experience~
this is the highlight of each year and it goes by so quickly. each minute feels so fleeting i feel i have to constantly remind myself of the nowness of now.[...] so many thoughts & feelings to process - about summer, about time, about loss. the loss of summertime.
reading// Great Expectations (took me ALL SUMMER to read)
listening// SZA - Babylon, fka twigs - M3LL155X
watching// Broad City (loooove it), Leon: The Professional
feeling// lonely, missing New York
get ready for part 2 you guys...